Bloom

Memoir by Kelle Hampton

Ok, Un-Book Club friends, pour yourselves a big glass of wine (or cup of coffee if you are reading this at work and they frown on that sort of thing). Because this book and my response to it is INTENSE. I mean, for one thing, she's writing about giving birth (kind of a big deal) to her second daughter Nella who unexpectedly has Down Syndrome (whoah) but also striving to live big her "wild and precious life" (a quote from her favorite poet). Come on. Intense.

This woman's story is amazing, partly because of who she is, and partly because of the way she tells it. In the opening pages, she talks about preparing to give birth by doing normal things like packing and calling friends, oh and by preparing individually wrapped home made FAVORS for the people who would visit them in the hospital. FAVORS. She is totally go big or go home and remains that way through her whole story, including her journey from being devastated and afraid of the Down Syndrome to facing and accepting and loving and embracing and celebrating. She also lets you in on EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of that journey, holding back no emotions or vacillating inner debates or breakdowns or joys. She is just so honest about how hard it is at first, how much she loves her sweet Nella, and how even after she accepts and loves Nella for who she is, she feels guilty for her initial response. Needless to say, I cried a lot.

You know my story: I have two kids, and in between the two I had a rare condition called a molar pregnancy. Kelle's story definitely appeals to me as a survivor of parenting heartache, and I think that like her I have arrived at a certain peace. In fact,  her story helped me to realize that I am less fearful and have fewer anxieties than recently. But still, I don't believe I could read this book while pregnant because I just don't have that much peace yet. I also appreciate her fierce loyalty to the Net, as she calls her group of women that pull each other through heartaches and trials like this. The fact that my mom and sister were away in Europe when I lost my pregnancy served to draw me closer to my sister-in-law Lisa and sister-of-the-heart Kelsey, expanding my Net.

My only two complaints about this book are:

1) She makes me look like a lazy, unoriginal, uninspired mom, with her favors and birthday parties and matching t-shirts for the Buddy Walk. Honestly.
2) She uses too much metaphor.

But those things don't really matter. Let me leave you with a quote that has stuck with me.

"Once you become a parent...you automatically carry around, for the rest of your life, an increased likelihood of having your heart broken. And it's a constant fear that we struggle to put to rest. We can choose to be afraid or we can choose to live. And I choose to live. Because an increased likelihood of having your heart broken also carries with it an increased likelihood of finding yourself the happiest you've ever been in life. And I was learning that when the 'what if' voices came, I could tell them to shut the hell up." (p. 249).

The Master Butcher's Singing Club

Novel by Louise Erdrich

I started this book just after a new school year began, which is always a time of hope and renewal for me. I finished it this weekend in the midst of a very frustrating and energy-sapping time, the smoke-filled atmosphere that my hometown is experiencing due to uncontrollable brush fires. I think that change aptly describes the path of this story, going from a time of hope and new beginnings for a German man immigrating to America after World War I to the Great Depression and disillusionment of World War II.

Fidelis Waldvogel, the title master butcher, brings his young family to a midwestern American town and works quite hard to assimilate them and make a life there. Eva, his wife, is a loving and lovable German woman who befriends the town drunk's adult daughter, Delphine, who has returned to try to take care of her father and create a respectable life for herself and her pretend husband, Cyprian. The book jacket describes these relationships as a collision, but it's really more of a sinking as they all come together. In fact, despite the mischievous title and occasional pithy description, the whole story sort of oozes along. There are some mysteries and intriguing characters and shocking moments, but it's not enough somehow.  I needed to love the characters more or for the plot to flow along faster, I think. Or maybe just less description of slaughtering animals.

It's sort of ironic: my sister in law says this blog has made her a lazy reader because I just tell her what books to read. For me, on the other hand, I've become much more aware of myself as a reader and what I need from a book. I hope it makes me a better writer. I'm taking mental notes. Note to self: write something that I would enjoy reading myself.

The American Heiress

Novel by Daisy Goodwin

I've been eating an unfortunate amount of ice cream this week, since my sister came over for dinner and left a gallon in the freezer. Bad, very bad. But eating ice cream while reading has made me start to think of books like the three sizes at Cold Stone Creamery: Like It, Love It, and Gotta Have It. That's really how I feel about most books--I have some kind of affection for almost all of them (maybe the few I truly don't like would be called Lactose Intolerant). On this scale my latest read is definitely in the Love It category. I gobbled it up, loved it, but wouldn't put it on my list of All Time Faves.

The American Heiress is set in the 1890's, mostly in England, as a young American woman fulfills her society mother's fondest desire and marries a British aristocrat. Cora Cash (a very F. Scott Fitzgerald kind of name) is the richest young woman in America and her duke, Ivo Maltravers (another fitting name, mysterious and dark) needs her money to revive his estate. In addition to the convenient exchange of money for title, the two also seem to be in love, but struggle in their marriage due to cultural differences and the baggage of previous relationships.

On the cover of the book, it's touted as a good read for those who can't wait for Downton Abbey to start again in January. If you watch the show, I think you can see why. The mother in DA is also an American named Cora whom a British lord marries for money. The simmering social scene, with duchesses sniping behind each other's backs and servants gossiping downstairs, is just as entertaining in Heiress as in DA. The culture of the time and extravagance of the aristocrats is equally fascinating; at one dinner party they eat swallow tongues in aspic. (Thankfully I was not eating when I read that). The mysterious nature of the plot, though, reminded me of another book: Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. The main character is not an heiress, but a poor American who marries a rich Englishman, then finds herself mocked by the servants, confused by her moody husband, and in the middle of a mystery about his previous wife. It's very Gothic, and it in turn reminded me of Jane Eyre (which WOULD be a Gotta Have It book). I think the lesson for me in all this is that I am a total Anglophile and need to go watch an episode of Downton Abbey. Right now.

By the way, I don't know if I'll use the ice cream ratings all the time. They seem to express my feelings well, but might not fit in the cooler months. Maybe then it should be Tall, Grande or Venti (pumpkin spice or eggnog lattes, that is).