Book Mash Up

All Joy and No Fun
Nonfiction by Jennifer Senior

Remember that book I said I was probably going to quit? Well, I didn't. As infrequently as I read non-fiction, I find that the ones I have read recently are better than I expected. Maybe I'm getting smarter. Or older. Either way, this book turned out to be super interesting, so much so that I keep bringing it up in conversation (ok, maybe that's partly because I want credit for reading smart people books).

The premise of this book is that while innumerable studies have been done on the effects of parenting on children, none have ever been conducted on the effect of parenting on parents. Senior set out to conduct her own interviews and research about that idea, as well as including tons of other relevant studies and a great deal of history of parenting and childhood experience.

At first I was put off by what seemed to be just a retelling of my own experiences: I don't need a book to tell me that parenting is hard! Senior's interviews seemed to be the same as reading facebook or mommy blogs: crumbs on the couch, middle of the night wake ups, struggling marriages. When she got to the research and history, though, I got interested. By citing certain studies, Senior suggests that the intense and exhausting thing that is parenting today is a product of our recent history of protecting children rather than viewing them as partners in work. It is taken to the extreme, certainly, in the helicopter-Pinterest style of parenting that is popular on social media, but it is necessary based on our changing view of children's roles in the world.

I felt personally relieved to learn that there is a reason why we modern parents are the way we are. The fact that I even think as much as I do about HOW and WHY I parent a certain why (and Senior would also add my use of "parent" as a verb) indicates that I am truly a modern parent, super involved and possibly too reflective. But at least I am not alone! So I guess I did need that re-telling of parenting experiences after all...

Orphan Train

Historical fiction by Christina Baker Kline

Following right on the heels of a book about parents...is a book about two girls who grow up without the benefit of parents. This novel throws into stark relief the differences between historical and modern parenting and childhood.  Two girls in this book become orphans, Vivian in the late 1920's as a recent Irish immigrant, and Molly in contemporary times after the death of her father and breakdown and incarceration of her mother. Neither girl's family was safe and healthy for her before, but their situations after are equally hard or harder. The two meet with Molly is in foster care and needs to do a community service project and Vivian is a ninety year old woman who needs her attic cleaned out. As you can imagine, their relationship develops and Vivian shares her history with Molly eventually.

Vivian's experiences on and after the orphan train and Molly's experiences in foster care have many mirrored events. While this makes the characters seem similar and share connections, it showed to me, just after reading All Joy and No Fun, just why we protect children so very much today. The orphan trains were run from New York to the mid-west under the assumption that families would need these children to work for them. While the adoptive families were expected to put the orphans in school, blind eyes were turned as long as the orphans were not returned to the welfare society. It was also a short step from expecting a child to work for room and board, to over-working and under-feeding and clothing for the child. Vivian's story, while fictional, is evidence of that.

I did find all the characters in this book a little two-dimensional. The orphans are too perfect and innocent, even the one on probation; the foster families are too evil or angelic in turn. They didn't need to be characterized as so completely one-sided to convince me who to sympathize with. Or to make me grateful that I am raising my children in the decades that I am. As much as I may have to worry about, at least it's not child labor or orphanages.

For the young, or young at heart

There's a lazy Susan full of medicines on my kitchen counter, a mountain of laundry in my closet, and a stack of finished books on my nightstand. Yep, I've been sick. For four days, to be exact. With bronchitis. So during all the doctor-prescribed naps and while my kids are watching movies and even while taking my breathing treatments, I've been reading. Sounds ALMOST like a vacation (except I can't breathe, so not so much).

I've been reading along a theme, actually--young adult books. My students just finished performing book talks, which were AWESOME. I loved hearing the kids get excited about their books and seeing their classmates go check out books they'd heard about. I did the same and came up with three to read right away.

Paper Towns
by John Green

This is by far the most adult-y of this list. I would not recommend it for most middle school kids. In fact, it's about high school seniors in Florida who are weeks from graduation. The main character is a boy with a crush on his neighbor, who used to be his best friend but then she got too popular for him. One night senior year she shows up at his window (they're neighbors) and takes him on a wild night of pranking her friends. The next day she disappears. And he spends the rest of the book looking for her. It's a bit of a coming of age story, with some smart literary allusions and a lot of crude boy humor. I didn't love it like I did The Fault in Our Stars, probably because it's just more boyish. I do think John Green does a great job appealing to teenagers and where their hearts are.

The Maze Runner
by James Dashner

This book makes me sad. It's PERFECT for middle school boys --action packed, full of that dystopian stuff that's so popular, even has some swearing but since it's a different civilization they make up the swear words. It's perfect. Except it's not. I skim-read most of it because it was full of little cracks that my attention span would trip over. I don't think most middle school boys would notice, and the ones in my class sure don't seem to, but the writing just isn't good. The descriptions of what could be amazing scenes are kind of blurry. The figurative language is off kilter, leaving me less clear on what something looks like. And the characters truly all seemed the same. That fact bothered me the most and I couldn't put my finger on it until the one girl in the story gets introduced A LONG way in, and she seemed just the same as all the boys. Needless to say, I won't be reading the rest of the series. But your nephew/son/grandson/postal carrier's kid might like it!


Wildwood

by Colin Meloy

This one is just too sweet. In a good way! Maybe another reader won't have the same delicious reaction to this book, but it was recommended by a really sweet student and I kept picturing her as the main character. Prue, a thirteen year old girl from Portland, goes on a wild adventure in a mystical wood after her baby brother is kidnapped by crows. The land Prue discovers reminds me of Narnia in many ways, and the girl she is reminds me of myself, my daughter, my mother, all my favorite girls ever. I love Prue. The book is full of allegory for current social, political, and environmental issues, which may make it over the head of the average middle schooler, or may make it the perfect book for all ages. I will definitely read the rest of the series and may have to buy they all for myself. Love.

My current book could not be further from this list. All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenting by Jennifer Senior is a research based non fiction treatise on how parenting is different today and in many ways harder and yet more wonderful than it ever has been. It reads like every mommy blog but without the humor. I find myself agreeing with every paragraph and then looking up to see my one year old crawling out the dog door. I'm not sure I need a book to tell me about modern parenting.