Yes, I read the end first

I got yelled at again for reading the ends of books first. Maybe "yelled" isn't accurate. She stared at me in disbelief, dead eyed and open mouthed like a fish, and then said something along the lines of, "Well, I'm not questioning your ENTIRE existence as a reader, but..."

So I explained, calmly and rationally as I always do when my little habit shocks and dismays people (although most of them don't usually call into question my right to own a library card). I read the end first because I care. And it's not actually FIRST. I read about a quarter of the way through, and then before I become too attached to the characters, I have to know if they're going to make it. Does anyone die? Is a heart going to be broken? Lost limbs, lost children, lost minds? I need to know so MY heart doesn't get broken, at least too badly, if I should happen to love the characters and want to hang out in their kitchens and go on their family vacations. So I just SKIM the ending. See? It's not so bad and for a good reason. I'm not a cheater.

She wasn't convinced. She wanted to know how I could keep reading, if I know the end of the story. She still didn't get it. It's not about what happens at the end of the story. It's about who it happens to. As long as the characters go there, I'll go too.

You're probably still not convinced.  Let me offer you an example, or actually two.

 

 

If you haven't read or heard of Inspector Gamache, start here. These are the third and fourth in a series of murder mysteries, but wait. They're not like other murder mysteries and even though I'm using them to prove a point, I DON'T READ THE END FIRST. After reading just a few of these beautiful and rare books, I discovered I don't need to read the end first. Not because I don't love the characters, but because the author takes such exquisite care of her characters that I don't need to worry about them. Nothing bad will happen to them. Or if it does, it will all be okay anyway. Even though these are MURDER mysteries and bad things do happen, the main cast are delivered to the end of the story tenderly by the Inspector and each other. They are often even better for their experiences, more aware of themselves and their neighbors, of the workings of the universe and of God. They become tolerant of differences, celebrate life, forgive mistakes, make poetry and art and croissants and babies. I love them, as you can see, but I don't worry about them. The murderer will be caught and they'll get to eat their final decadent dinner. It's the exception that proves the rule.

 

I've heard there are ten more in the series. If Louise Penny ever proves me wrong and kills a main character, please send French food to help me in my grieving. Meanwhile, I'll be like Inspector Gamache and trust. Just trust.