Transparency

Today, my friends, I am really taking this book club seriously. I'm sometimes envious of the non-virtual book clubs. (Their hair is done nicely! They're out of the house! They're drinking wine from glasses with stems!) This book club is just as real as the pretty ones, though, because I think about you as I read. What will I say about this book? Do I like it? Do my friends like it? Where does this intersect with me? You deepen my reading and share the experience with me. Sometimes, however, I must admit that I hold back a little when I write to you. Sometimes I don't want to offend someone who recommended a book. Sometimes my thoughts aren't 100% shareable, with you or with the rest of the internet reading world. Tonight is different. I don't have any big secrets to reveal, just a commitment to write what I'm thinking, unfiltered. A friend of mine has a blog about surviving with twin babies and she is modeling real transparency for me. She is not holding back and I love her for it. Transparency is where real connection happens. Yes, even over the internet.

The Rosie Project

Novel by Graeme Simsion

The main character of this book (whose name I can't remember: keeping it real) has Asperger's. That's like having a mild form of autism, in which people struggle to understand other people's emotions and social cues, and have rigid adherence to schedules and rules. I have had several students with Asperger's and I have failed to love and understand them as well as I wish I had. This character is written in the first person with an amazingly specific voice, such as using few contractions, words like "correct," and a great deal of analytical language. Because we hear his thoughts, he's also lovable, in that he doubts himself and struggles to identify his feelings. He may identify people by their BMI but he is searching for love. That's the premise of the story, his use of a survey to try to find the perfect spouse, which is hilarious and heartwarming. Mostly, though, it makes me wish I could see more people's real intentions and therefore love them better. In that way, I'm like a person with Asperger's, I guess. 

Still Alice

Novel by Lisa Genova

I'm late to the party again, this time so late that the book cover is the same as the movie poster. I thought I had read this one but I looked again and I guess not. Then I accidentally stayed up until midnight finishing it. Alice has early onset Alzheimer's, a devastating diagnosis to anyone but especially to this Harvard professor of psychology. As soon as she learns about her diagnosis, she knows exactly how her mind will decay, she just doesn't know how soon. Or what she is going to do with the information. The end of this book came fast, which was a relief in more ways than one. It's unnerving to read about someone who is losing her memory, as we all have memory slips (Didn't I read this book already? What's that character's name? How many continents are there again?) that make us feel crazy. I also have had a recent diagnosis with degenerative disease, rheumatoid arthritis, that is infinitely more treatable than Alzheimer's but terrifying in my worst moments. Can I not open this jar because of RA? Can I keep doing yoga? Will I be able to pick up my nieces, nephews, grandkids? The crazy train keeps coming back to the station, and most of the time I don't get on board, but reading this book punched my ticket a few times.